My schedule has been disrupted this week in a good way – which is fine. God is certainly sovereign over that.
I have been wanting to share this post and am so excited to get to share it today with you.
From one of my mentors, posted with permission after celebration of their 18th anniversary a few months ago.
Ladies,
Please focus primarily on the needs of husbands. 🙂 If we allow ourselves to get too caught up in our own needs, it can often lead us to spiral into sin – particularly for wives who have tended to be controlling/disrespectful.If things are not going well and you are feeling very discouraged or unsatisfied in your marriage, I encourage you to skip the needs of a wife and go directly to the needs of the husband – if you have already shared your needs many times, in particular. It is entirely possible to turn these legitimate needs into idols (things we put above Christ and seek to fulfill in illegitimate ways) if we are not careful to find all of our contentment, identity, security, peace, joy, purpose, acceptance, strength and hope in Christ alone.
A group of married couples in 2 focus groups(wives/husbands) had an open forum separately on what is their basic needs as wives or husbands and the following came up:-
HER NEEDS (WIVES)
1. A wife needs the stability and direction of a husband who is functioning as the spiritual leader of his family.
2. A wife needs to know that she is meeting vital needs in her husband’s life and work that no other woman can meet.
3. A wife needs to see and hear that her husband cherishes her and that he delights in her as a person.
4. A wife needs to know that her husband understands her by protecting her in areas of her limitations.
5. A wife needs to know that her husband enjoys setting aside quality time for intimate conversation with her.
6. A wife needs to know that her husband is aware of her presence even when his mind is on other matters.
7. A wife needs to see that her husband is making investments in her life that will expand and fulfill her world.
HIS NEEDS (HUSBANDS)
1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man.
2. A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities.
3. A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty.
4. A husband needs a wife who can lovingly appeal to him when he is going beyond his limitations and wisely respond to those who question his ideas, goals or motives.
5. A husband needs quality time to be alone with himself and with the Lord.
6. A husband needs a wife who is grateful for all he has done and is doing for her.
7. A husband needs a wife who will be praised by other people for her character and her good works.
Learnt a few lessons which I thought might be useful to you as long as we let God rule our desires.
Phenomenally human 