I will wait ……by Janette Ikz

Janette…ikz is one lady whose got talent and you just have to love her pieces if poetry and spoken word is your thing.Just love , love and love this poem/spoken word.

‘I will wait for you’ is a poem written by ‘Janette…ikz’ whose real name is Janette McGhee, a lyricist and spoken word poet. The poem ‘I will wait for you’ speaks about how long she is willing to wait for her God-chosen husband. She also gives the impression of finding contentment with Jesus Christ if he is to call her to a life of singleness, if that’s God’s plan for her. She also highlights the insecurities and pressures faced in her life of singleness and due to that, she yielded to unproductive relationships. At the end she re-directs her poem to who all Christians should be waiting for; Jesus Christ.

 

So it seemed,

that it was cool,

for everyone to be in a relationship but me.

 

So I took matters into my own hands

and… ended up with him.

him, who displayed the characteristics of a

cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief.

 

So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?

I called 911, but I was cardiac-arrested for

aiding and abetting,

’cause it was me who let him in,

claiming we were “just friends.”

 

It was already decided for me by the first date that

even if he wasn’t,

I was gonna make him “the One.”

 

You know… I was tired of being alone,

and I simply made up in my mind,

that it was about that time

so I decided to drag him along for the ride,

’cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

 

A virgin in the physical,

but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat,

who was tired of the wait,

so I was gonna make him “the One.”

 

he had a… form of Godliness,

but not much.

 

But, but, hey, hey, I can change him,

so I’ll take him, I mean he’s close…

 

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter,

not knowing the value of it’s used to be. (use to me?)

Arteries so clogged with my will,

it blocked His will from flowing through me.

So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,

that flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back.

 

Through my ignorance, He saw,

so through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest

to transplant Psalms 51:10,

a new heart

& a renewed right spirit within.

So now, I fully understand,

better yet, I thoroughly comprehend,

how much I need to wait

for You.

 

See,

the bad thing is

that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning.

’cause in the beginning was the Word

and he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

 

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

and all he could whisper was

sweet,

empty

nothings–

which meant nothing!

 

he couldn’t even have prayed when I needed him to,

asking him to fast would be absurd,

so, forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word.

 

But I know you,

you are already praying for me.

Even never having met me,

let me assure you,

I will wait

for you.

 

I will no longer date,

socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

to appease my boredom

or to quench my thirsty desire I have for attention and short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas.’

 

You know, he ‘sorta kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?

His first name: Luke,

his last name: Warm.

 

Aye,

I won’t settle for false companionship.

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,

attempting to find some closeness,

but never feeling so far, far apart

’cause, I just wanna be held.

♫ ‘Cause all I gotta do is say♫

“No!”

 

No more ‘almost sessions’ of

‘almost coming close’

passing winks & buying drinks,

and ♫I’ma,

I’ma,

I’ma flirt!♫

Who flirts with the ideology of,

“Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?”

 

No more.

 

I’ll stay in my bed,

alone,

and write poems,

about how I will wait for You.

 

he won’t even come close,

our fingers won’t even interlock,

we won’t even exchange breath,

’cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

 

I will no longer get weighted  down,

from so-called friends & family talks,

about the concern for my biological clock

when I serve the Author of Time.

Who is not subject to time,

but I’m subject to Him.

He has the ability to stop, fast-forward, pause, or rewind at any given time.

So,

if we could role play,

you would be Abraham & I would be Sara,

or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca–a servant’s answered prayer.

I am

bone of your bone,

flesh of your flesh,

made up of your rib, Adam.

 

And once we meet,

like electrons, I will be bound to your nucleus,

completely indivisible

 

We even speak the same math:

1 + 1 + 1 = 3,

which really equals 1 if you add Him.

 

We were all created in His image,

but you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect

the Son.

If I were to explain what you look like,

you would have to look like a star–

a sun of the Son.

I would gain energy simply from the light that you shine on me.

I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis.

I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis,

I will wait for you.

 

And I will know you

because when you speak,

I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

your faith will remind me of Abraham,

your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

your heart for God will remind me of David,

your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

and your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

but your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews

or any special marks,

’cause His Word will be tatted all over your heart.

 

And you will know me,

and you will find me,

where

the boldness of Esther

meets the warm closeness of Ruth,

where the hospitality of Lydia

is aligned with the submission of Mary,

which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.

I will be the one,

drenched in Proverbs 31,

waiting for you.

 

But to my Father,

my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth,

only if You should see fit.

 

I desire Your will above mine.

So even if you call me to a life of singleness,

my heart is content with You–the One who was sent.

You are the greatest love story ever told,

the greatest love ever known.

You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness,

and I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.

 

I will always be Yours,

and I will always wait for You, Lord.

More than the watchmen wait for the morning,

more than the watchmen wait for the morning,

I will wait.

 

The Unspoken

He checked the box for the bracelet for the umpteenth time. Another twelve hours and she would be back, from what his mother said. Some very urgent work had cropped up and they had gone over to her mother’s hometown.

As he cleared his bed, to retire for the night, he coaxed himself aloud for not having apologised to her earlier. It had been a week since they had last spoken. He knew she wanted him to take the first step. After all he was the one who insulted her, disappointed her. He hadn’t meant to do it, obviously, but nevertheless he did do it.

“Ego. That is what your problem is, James. You knew you were wrong. Yet, you couldn’t be bothered enough to say a simple sorry! You took it all out on her instead. Of course, she wouldn’t talk to you,” he chided himself, rolling up his clothes in a ball and dumping them on the chair. Removing his laptop and its charger tangled with the endless earphones, “Make sure you don’t hurt her again. It’s her birthday the day after. Make it her best. You know you love her. She needs to know it too. Enough with your… Ahh! Finally!” he exhaled jubilantly on untangling the wiry mess.

He fell off to sleep thinking about her.

Having snoozed his alarm twice, James woke up only when his mother came to remind him he would be late for office. He told her he was taking the Saturday off. Only when he finally got out of bed, did he realize he had only an hour left before the train arrived.

Barely had he awoken, when his mother came in blabbering excitedly, “I just spoke to Mercy(referring to Rita’s mother). Their train arrived early. Somehow.”

“What? How? What’s wrong with the Railways?” he asked, hurrying to the washroom!

“That’s not the point, though I wondered that too. Rita got engaged,” she finished.

Hands still on the handle of the washroom door, holding his breath, stopping in his tracks, pulsating heart, he just about managed to blurt, “What are you saying, Ma?”

“I don’t know the details yet but looks like that is why they had gone to Mombasa in such a hurry. They are on their way already. Go, get ready. I am preparing breakfast for them.”

“Okay,” is all he said, before shutting himself in the bathroom.

James felt his body slide down to the floor. He could taste the tears coming out of his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and pooling by his lips. His hands trembled as he ran them through his hair. He had to meet her. He had to get up. Yet, he couldn’t find the strength to even move. He felt broken. He kept sitting there till he finally found himself capable of getting to the shower at least. Turning it on, he felt the water seeping through his night clothes, he still had on. He didn’t care. He just wanted to wash away all the memories of the week before. He wanted his friend back. Single. Clutching at his hair, he waited for the water to work its magic. Tired of holding his breath and sobbing into the water, he turned the shower off to go and wash his face at the basin, not realizing how pointless the whole exercise was. He felt numb, senseless, insignificant, dejected, and incapable all at once.

“James, Rita’s here. She’s asking for you. Are you done?” his sister asked, knocking on the door.

Regaining composure, he blurted, “Yes, almost. Could you hand me a towel and a set of clothes, please?”

When he emerged presentable, he found Rita working on her laptop. She looked up at him, and clarified, “Just checking the office mail.”

He didn’t bother to reply.

“Rita, I have something for you,” he called out to her.

“Okay,” she said, her voice betraying her curiosity. She walked up to him and asked, “What?”

He turned around and looked into her eyes. “This,” handing over the box to her. “

And “congratulations.”

“Thank you. Nothing was final. So I didn’t tell you anything. Plus, we weren’t talking. So…” she trailed off, as she opened the box. “This is so beautiful. I love it. Thank you!” she said softly, looking up at him.

“I am sorry, Rita,” James said, embracing her.

Surprised and slightly taken aback, she hugged her friend back.

“I love you, Rita,” he said.

“Yes, I know that, James. I love you too,” she said smiling.

“Missed me a little too much, huh?” she asked, mocking him, just as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” she asked him, rubbing his back.

“Yes,” he said.

“I will be. Eventually,” he thought.

And he let her go of the embrace.

Graciously Yours!

COHABITATION : Why “trial run”?

This was a very heated conversation I had last week with a group of friends and all went flaring.How right is it or how wrong is it?Anyway let us delve in it.

Getting married is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. If marriage is a lifetime commitment, then why not have a “trial run” before making it official?

Many couples do exactly that. In fact, living together before marriage is becoming increasingly common, even among Christian couples. We reason that living together before marriage just makes sense. This is particularly a strong argument for those who are hesitant about a lifetime commitment. Having witnessed the pain divorce creates in many families, they know that a fairy tale wedding in a packed church doesn’t guarantee happily-ever-after ending.

Cohabitation sets a couple up for bailing on marriage when things get difficult. Holding sexual fidelity and the marriage covenant as sacred before God impacts your willingness to work through the challenges of life together.

Studies also indicate that couples living together are more likely to experience sexual unfaithfulness, domestic violence, and higher levels of relational unhappiness.

Cohabitation is intimacy on a man’s terms.

Glenn Stanton, author of The Ring Makes All the Difference believes strongly that the growing trend toward cohabitation is putting women at risk. While women have great power in the marriage relationship, they have relatively little “leverage” as a live-in. Stanton argues that cohabitation puts men in the driver’s seat. They get what they want (sex and companionship) without giving what they fear (commitment).

While this may be painting with a broad brush, I think Stanton is hitting on a fundamental truth. To a large degree, men are convinced to commit to marriage because they long for companionship and a sexual partner. When a woman makes marriage the condition for giving herself to a man, she may lose a guy who has no interest in commitment, but she will challenge a “good man” to take the step of a marriage covenant.

Cohabitation is taking yourself out of God’s will.There is nothing I fear more than being out of God’s will. I’ve seen enough pain and devastation in this world to know that I need God—every hour of every day, I need his wisdom and comfort. As my husband, Patric, and I navigate our marriage, we know that on our own, it’s not enough. No amount of psychological training, self-help books, or will power can adequately equip us for life.

I find tremendous comfort knowing that we can cry out to God and trust him to give us wisdom no matter what comes our way. Even when I don’t feel His presence, I know he is there. Why? Because He has promised me that He will draw near to us when we draw near to Him. Access to God’s wisdom and comfort is largely dependent upon our willingness to abide in him—to walk in obedience. “So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin,” 1 John 1:6–7 says.

By choosing to ignore God’s teaching on marriage and sexuality, you are electing to walk in darkness and to do life on your own terms. You can’t claim the rich promises of God while living in stubborn rebellion against His expressed will for you.

Now what?

Taking a stand to be sexually pure when you’ve already crossed that line takes a step of faith. Frankly, it means that you might lose your boyfriend/girlfriend. It means that you may have to temporarily create an earthquake in your life. The ground that seemed steady will shift.

But the foundation you choose is absolutely critical. “Playing married” without the sacred commitment of marriage is choosing to build a house on an unstable and volatile foundation. I urge you to bring yourself before Jesus and ask him to show you how to rebuild on the truth of his unchanging Word.

Just Faith

They meet on this dusty road,an unlikely joining of desperation.These two,whose hopelessness is numbered by twelve,are clothed in contrasting garments.She is covered in rags of unclean misery and twelve years of soiled shunning.He is swathed in social stature with twelve years of joy and grace now torn by helpless grief.Here amid the dusty air of life they join,opposites seeking their portion

Providence confronts faith and two are healed.

A prompt to my spirit to wisely consider what is required.

Like her there will be times when misery meets despair and become unlikely travelling partners.A journey that is much too long.Shredding the hope that covers and leaving one naked and alone.

Like him there will be those times when life is good and in one brief,solitary moment,contentment is ripped from our hand.What was is no longer and we are left grasping the wind.

Yet,Providence speaks in the center of this dirty path,”Don’t be afraid.Just have faith.”

Faith

Faith beyond circumstances

Faith beyond reason

Faith beyond lack

Faith borne out of desperate release

Not fear

Just faith

HE CALLED HER THE “WORST STORY OF HIS LIFE”

This is a story that really saddens me as a Christian and a wife that we as Christians would camouflage the true identity of Christ. When our lives are a lie, then we make God a lie, which He is not.

….

Tia thought she knew him. She had met him a few years ago. He looked humble, God-fearing, reliable and charming. She easily fell into a trance with him. She longed for that one call from him every day.

It was not after a few months of chit-chats that their love culminated into a relationship. She was a lady whose heart yearned for the word of God. She loved God and compromise was not something she would even think of. That was understandable since her family was enrooted in Christianity. As a family, they had gone through a lot of challenges but the word of God was the only constant joy in their lives.

Her father was unmatchable. He was her first love. So every guy was vetted through the qualities he depicted. He loved God and would always say the truth does not go out and come back empty.”We are part of the body of Christ, and in Christ we have eternal life. Nothing can separate us. No power on earth”. He loved the story of Jehoshaphat. The sons of Moab and Ammon came against him with a mighty army but the spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel and said through him “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.”

She believed her father’s counsel even in the silent loneliness of her tribulations. If she believed everything he had taught her then why does she ache with grief, which swells and spills over her in waves, spreading with a strange, confused anger? Why did she have to be such a fool for Christ?

………

Tim had hurt her more than once. But she had always forgiven him since that was what the bible taught her. He knew that and he had taken it for granted. He said he was saved but then he had not publicly declared the Lord as His savior but he believed in his heart. Was that really salvation? How can one accept the Lord in the privacy of their heart and not declare it to other people? That really disturbed her but with time she brushed it off.

Tim was an outside child of his father. He always longed for the affection that a father could give to his son but that came very late in his life. His grandparents were his parents. He lived life to prove a point to himself, that he was not a mistake. He started his own business and was doing well. He entered into a relationship with Julie a few months after university. He loved her and always thanked God for her. He had willed to take care of her and protect her. He thought deeply about the family he intended to share with her and prayed that it shall come to pass but he had his doubts which he referred to as red flags in his relationship. She had accused him of insensitivity and that offended him.

In February of that year he had met her for valentine and they shared a meal, at 680 hotel. They shared memories of their wonderful tenth month relationship, he was happy. He wished he could take her home with him, but he stayed true to his gospel of purity. He knew he would marry her one day.

They had been drifting apart, that is what he believed. Julie would not pick up his calls. He was devastated. He decided to go for a 40 day fast of self discovery. He had many issues to mull over among them his relationship; he wanted a third eye perspective. He let her decide whether to walk away or stay with him. He was possessive of her; he needed someone who would love him back. He thought by buying her gifts or taking her to expensive locations he will win her love. He was wrong.

Tim blamed Julie for his misery and hurt. He had seen red flags but he believed love can conquer that. He had literally built his entire life around her, he reminiscent over what they had shared which seemed to be fading away with the wind. He clung onto it; he never entertained the thought of him being a mistake in her life like to his dad. Something that he did without his knowledge.

He decided to do a SWOT analysis among his friends to reevaluate himself, the feedback was devastating. First his girlfriend believed that he never gave people enough space, he literally chokes her space. Others said he was task-oriented forgetting his vital relationships and could easily be manipulated. He decided it was time to turn over new leaf. His fears were more than his faith in God. He yearned for fulfillment everywhere but failed to listen to God. His heart longed for the Lord yet he could not get rid of the thorn in his flesh. Away from the fellowship of the brethren he failed God; he killed Christ and crucified him again and again.

He was a hypocrite.

Julie decided to end her relationship with him. Tim claimed it was a relief on his side because he never really enjoyed the relationship, he said she had so much baggage and too many unresolved issues.

Then he met Maury from church, who told him she cannot hang out with him in a view of dating him. He never sat down to reevaluate himself and his position in the Lord. He wanted so much to belong that he forgot that he was a child of God, he belonged.

The thorn in his flesh was eating him up, he longed for that which is despicable before the Lord. Purity was no longer his gospel. He attended Christian classes, enjoyed fellowship among his fellow Christians but the moment he left he caved in to his old self. He went through a spool of relationships, looking for someone to love him yet He was already loved by Christ.

He drowned himself in work so that his body would be very tired to do anything but fade into slumber. He diminished himself and like a dog he returned to his vomit again and again. He was numb to the Holy Spirit.Beginnning of October that year he finally grieved the Holy Spirit. He had craved for the desires of the flesh, made his body a master that he had finally drowned in it and defiled the body of Christ. He loathed it. He had failed God again. The Sunday sermon rang in his ears, “Who is really in charge of your life?” the pastor had asked the congregation.

….

End of that year, he met with Tia.She was a wonderful person, full of enthusiasm and loved God. He had started being fond of her. She was a staunch Christian, she had gone through a lot from childhood but her faith in God was amazing. Her mum has always been a pillar in her life. When life was just too much for her to handle, she would separate herself from others, alone with herself.

Bowing her head, she would tighten her hands, emotion swelled.”You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”, she would whisper brokenly and would weep.”Oh, Father, forgive me. Amend my ways. But gently, Lord, lest you reduce me to nothing. I am afraid. Father, I am so afraid. Preserve me by the strength of your arm”, she would weep. She would open her eyes and opened her hands again.”The Lord provides’” she said softly. She would feel oddly at peace.

Tim was intriguing to her; he was not someone she pictured herself with. Friendship was her own baseline of their relationship. So when he asked her out she accepted with that in mind. It was a very rocky beginning, he was very secretive. He would often entertain other ladies, brush off questions about him being in a relationship with Tia. His faith had dwindled such that there was no mark of Christ left. She prayed but gave up on him. In March of that year, he fell back into defiling his body to feed his desires which he kept secret from her.

He would be go to church every Sunday, participate in different ministries but He knew not of God. She became aware of his affairs later that year and decided to break off the relationship. He pleaded with her through her close friends, mentors and finally she gave him another chance. He loved her, he proposed to her later that year and they got married. They would often argue, had many disagreements which made them drift apart.

He was vile that one day he called her the “worst mistake of his life”. That shattered her to the core. That was the epitome of it. All she wanted was to be the best mother to their kids and wife to her husband but it was becoming harder by the day. He was trying to break her day in day out. He was changing .He attended church, claimed to be a good Christian but his life was not that of Christ. Among his peers he was the best friend but to his family he was again a hypocrite.

Tia was becoming miserable in marriage but prayed that God would change her husband to represent the true meaning of Christianity.

That he will remember the LORD.

…………………

This was a very sad story to me because I believe a Christian husband considers his wife very precious and gives her the honor she is due. The first thing a real genuine Christian husband does is cleave. One tie must be broken before another can be established.

The joy of a Christian marriage goes far beyond the smiles. When there is strife and discord in the home, prayer is hindered until peace is restored. When an atmosphere of love and consideration exists, both husband and wife can join together in prayer before the Throne of God and expect some wonderful results and showers of blessings for their home.

His Needs,Her Needs

My schedule has been disrupted this week in a good way – which is fine. God is certainly sovereign over that.

I have been wanting to share this post and am so excited to get to share it today with you.

From one of my mentors, posted with permission after celebration of their 18th anniversary a few months ago.

Ladies,

Please focus primarily on the needs of husbands. 🙂 If we allow ourselves to get too caught up in our own needs, it can often lead us to spiral into sin – particularly for wives who have tended to be controlling/disrespectful.If things are not going well and you are feeling very discouraged or unsatisfied in your marriage, I encourage you to skip the needs of a wife and go directly to the needs of the husband – if you have already shared your needs many times, in particular. It is entirely possible to turn these legitimate needs into idols (things we put above Christ and seek to fulfill in illegitimate ways) if we are not careful to find all of our contentment, identity, security, peace, joy, purpose, acceptance, strength and hope in Christ alone.

 

A group of married couples in 2 focus groups(wives/husbands) had an open forum separately on what is their basic needs as wives or husbands and the following came up:-

 

HER NEEDS (WIVES)

 

1. A wife needs the stability and direction of a husband who is functioning as the spiritual leader of his family.

2. A wife needs to know that she is meeting vital needs in her husband’s life and work that no other woman can meet.

3. A wife needs to see and hear that her husband cherishes her and that he delights in her as a person.

4. A wife needs to know that her husband understands her by protecting her in areas of her limitations.

5. A wife needs to know that her husband enjoys setting aside quality time for intimate conversation with her.

6. A wife needs to know that her husband is aware of her presence even when his mind is on other matters.

7. A wife needs to see that her husband is making investments in her life that will expand and fulfill her world.

HIS NEEDS (HUSBANDS)

 

1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man.

2. A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities.

3. A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty.

4. A husband needs a wife who can lovingly appeal to him when he is going beyond his limitations and wisely respond to those who question his ideas, goals or motives.

5. A husband needs quality time to be alone with himself and with the Lord.

6. A husband needs a wife who is grateful for all he has done and is doing for her.

7. A husband needs a wife who will be praised by other people for her character and her good works.

 

Learnt a few lessons which I thought might be useful to you as long as we let God rule our desires.

Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou,she was a phenomenon woman, a poet and an author who I looked up to.I love poetry but hers was just exceptional.She could capture my heart through her incredible yet simple words in her poem.She was known as “America’s most visible black female autobiographer”,having written six autobiographical volumes depicting both her childhood and adult experiences.

One of the most amazing ones  I love is I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings(1969).She normally would recite her own poems and believe you me you would just fall in love with it.Here’s the poem I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings(1969) by Maya Angelou.

The free bird leaps

on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends

and dips his wings

in the orange sun rays

and dares to claim the sky.

 

But a bird that stalks

down his narrow cage

can seldom see through

his bars of rage

his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

 

The caged bird sings

with fearful trill

of the things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom

 

The free bird thinks of another breeze

and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees

and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn

and he names the sky his own.

 

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing

 

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom. 

Among other of her great poems are Alone, A Conceit,Insomniac,A Brave and Startling Truth,A Plagued Journey,Men,Still I rise,The Detached,Phenomenal Woman,Passing Time etc.She will surely be forever remembered through her poems.

Welcome

Hey guys,

I am so excited starting this blog,it’s a changer.It’s a helper in getting us becoming phenomenally human spiritually,socially etc.

So keep dropping by for the latest posts.